Learning from Another’s Suffering…

Last night, I read possibly the most heart-wrenching true story that I have ever come across.  It left me crying so hard my whole body shook and I could barely see the words through my drenched eyes.  I still feel like I’m breathing with bricks on my chest.  After reading the story I went to my boys rooms and cried over them and prayed and couldn’t take my eyes off of them.  And now, this morning, I am watching the clock, anxiously and excitedly waiting for them to wake up.  So I can hear their precious voices and hear their breathing.  So they can tell me about their dreams from while they slept and about their desires for our day.  Those things I take for granted every. single. day. 

Those things are routine, normal, and ever-present… until, they’re not.  Until something tragic happens and a void is left so deep that only the grace of God can fill it with time. 

The Bible tells us not to suffer in vain.  To not let our suffering consume us and be wasted, but to go through it like Jesus did.  Depending on God for strength and to come out on the other side closer to Him and sharing your experience with others. 

The mom from the story I referenced was courageous to share her experience and I WILL NOT let her suffering go to waste.  That sounds strange, right?  But how foolish would I be to read her words, cry like I did and then NOT learn from it.  To not snap out of this coma of our routine day and realize that my boys NEED more attention from me.  That I NEED to hug them more and teach them more directly of the hazards in our home.  I need to go to the stairs when I know Kaden’s climbing them for the 50th time that day… not thinking about the multitude of times he’s done it successfully but rather of the one time, he DID fall and only by God’s hand was he okay afterward.  

I have gotten into such a comfortable place with my days with the boys that I think I’m getting complacent.  I don’t jump to my feet when I hear crying anymore because I hear it everyday and I know… its just another argument or stubbed toe.  blah blah. But I need to SNAP TO IT and recognize that my lack of presence (physically or mentally) could result in tragedy in the blink of an eye. 

I know what you’re thinking.  I can’t prevent ALL accidents.  I know.  Like the mom from the story said, “You can’t bubble wrap the world, but at this moment, I’d sure like to try.”  And when my children are in MY home, under MY supervision I had BETTER be recognizing the blessing of that gift and responsibility and do everything in my power to protect them. 

So, I’m blogging now as they are sleeping and when they wake, they won’t see my back as I sit at the computer and edit photos or work on my new blog.  I will be present and attentive and alert to my children.  I’m embarrassed that I have to make that vow, as if it is a new, novel idea! But again comfort and routine have sent me into a downward spiral to complacency and I have a feeling that had I turned away and not read that story last night, it would be only a matter of time  until I had a heart-wrenching story of my own to share.  The Lord put that link in front of me for a reason and I can’t ignore it. 

Accidents can and will happen but some can also be prevented by me simply stepping up and doing the job the Lord gifted me: being an attentive, focused-on-my-little-children-mom. 

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In an effort to make myself stop crying now, I’ll share these photos that really cracked me up at the time I took them… Awhile back I posted about my boys’ love of making ‘nests’.  Comfy, cozy little places where they surround themselves with all of their favorite soft things.  I’ve also shared how they like to be in the laundry baskets, tucked in snuggly with blankets.

Now, enter our little storage boxes from Ikea.  Even tighter quarters, but evidently, that makes them even better!  Gage tucked Kaden into his, but Cooper zipped himself in all on his own.  Goofy.  But it gave us a quiet, calm 20 minutes! 

And I love that Kaden is cuddling the little panda bear he received from the P.A.N.D.A Team who transported him, almost a year ago, to Doernbecher Children’s Hospital after he was born prematurely.            

Okay.  Off to get a few more things done before a more attentive Mama is called to duty for the day. 

And, hug your loved ones, today… big and small… in honor of Tiggy.   

My Bebe Loves Bacon…

It should come as no surprise that Kaden should love bacon.  His daddy would put it on his ice cream if the sight of it didn’t make me gag (of bacon on ice cream – not bacon in general).  

  But, bacon’s not the point of this post, so much as the fact that my bebe can now eat bacon.  He’s at that age already.

Lord knows his teeth are sharp enough to dig through the meat…

… but, really?  He’s old enough already? I honestly love that he is.  I don’t feel sad when I think “where did my baby go?”  I love that we could go out to Red Robin for dinner and he could eat the mandrin oranges and pieces of Cooper’s chicken strips, and the crust from Gage’s pizza.  I LOVE not having to bring him ‘baby’ food for dinner!

But still.  I can’t believe how the time has flown by with this boy.   

I feel like I could spend the next 9 days baffling at the fact that Kaden is almost ONE.  Ha!  Maybe I will… it will be a week of Kaden.  Shouldn’t be too hard.

Now, I want some bacon.   

He’s Seriously, On the Move…

Like I’ve mentioned before, Kaden loves the stairs.  But now, when he’s not climbing up them and sliding back down on his tummy… (still thinking he’s SO silly for acting out this game)…

He’s doing this. 

Walkin’ and walkin’ behind his Tonka truck. 

He thinks this is pretty great, too. 

And the buttons on the steering wheel are fun as well. 

But nothin’ beats being on the go. 

Sheesh, I LOVE this age! LOVE. Love. love.

Their Minds Are Really Working These Days

I vividly remember the early days of my life as a Mama.  Hour after hour of baby talk, cooing and babbling.  Matt would come home from work and I’d talk.  And talk.  And I would soak in the intelligent words that he would respond with… savoring the adult conversation.  Because being home by myself with a baby, and then a baby and a toddler, for 11 hours straight made my brain turn into mush.     

Fast forward 5 and a half years and I’m constantly in the midst of conversations that are beyond me – questions that make my head spin and send me flying to the internet or my Bible for answers. 

Gage and Cooper seem to have over night become inquisitive of the ways of our world, our universe, our God, our creation… everything!

The other night during dinner, Gage peered out the window and saw the sliver of the moon.  He excitedly pointed it out to us and sought an explanation for why sometimes the moon looks like the letter ‘C’ and sometimes its a big circle.  Do I know anything about the Solar System?? Not much.  Thank goodness Matt was there to handle that one. 

Not too long ago, I had to get into it with the boys about lying.  I of course encouraged them to always tell me the truth, but even if they don’t “Jesus knows the truth”.  A few days later, Gage asked me what does Jesus do if he knows we are lying.  He wanted to know, “How does God discipline us?”  I wasn’t sure if I should get into the Bible story of how the two people who promised to give all of the money they earned to God, but didn’t, were struck down dead…  “Good question, Bud.”  I responded.  “Let’s go talk about that.”  I’m still not sure if I gave him the right answers but it did evoke a great conversation about obedience and honesty.  

Cooper’s given me a few good, insightful conversations lately, too.  Just the other night he lectured me extensively about cavities.  How they form, what causes them, how the dentist fixes them and what we do to avoid them. 

I sure wish I could have a little bitty tape recorder, ready to record these conversations so I can always hear him say, “And then, you eat candy.  And then, it sticks to your teeth.  And then, you need to brush them.  Because.  If you don’t.  You’ll get a hole.  In your tooth.  And then, it’ll hurt.  Real bad.  And then.  You’ll have to go to the dentist.  And then.  He’ll have to fill the hole with some stuff.  And then, that’ll hurt…” 

I can hear it so clearly in my head right now, but surely, with time, it’ll fade. 

And an ongoing, agonizing discussion I keep having to have with Cooper is regarding my love for Kaden.  Specifically, in Cooper’s words, “Mama, why do you love Kaden so much more than me?”  He thinks this because I am constantly having to fetch Kaden away from doing things that will hurt him – consequently sometimes taking me away from my time with Cooper or making Cooper have to wait his turn. 

It breaks my heart that his little brain even conjures up this type of thought.

He also asks questions like “Mama, will I always be a boy or will I someday be a panda bear?”  

At the end of almost everyday, I am exhausted from answering questions – wise, insightful questions, as well as questions that are so basic that its hard to put answers actually into words!  Or questions about things that are so common, that the answers have never crossed my mind.  Like,  “Why does it sometimes drizzle and other times rain really hard?” 

And now-a-days, when Matt and I have our time together, I want to do anything but talk.  I don’t want to hear anything, not even my own thoughts. 

Because my brain is mush.  Still, mush!   Funny how things work out.   

Five on Friday

1.  You HAVE to check this out.  I came across this video on Erin Cobb’s blog and I was in tears.  LOVE it.  If you’re at work, you may want to turn the volume down at first.  THEN, the Spirit may move you to invite others to gather around your desk, and turn up the volume.  LOUD. 

 

2.  I’m excited that I figured out how to post videos on here!  I’d better figure out how to take video on my camera before Kaden starts walking, so I can share THAT video on here. 

3.  This may be the third time I’ve been pictured on this blog… see me?  In the ornaments?  These would be WAY better if I was starting with a non-scratched ornament, but those are in short supply (meaning we have none) in our house. 

(This photo was ALL Gage’s idea.  He’s coming around to be quite the poser!)

4.  THANK YOU, Kristin, for pointing out the typo I made in my Dipped Gingerbread cookie recipe from the other day.  It is one and a half cups of vegetable oil… not 1/12.  That would have been interesting, though.  The typo has been fixed and I hope you’ll try out that recipe. 

5.  You may be noticing more watermarks appearing on my photos.  Its not necessarily because I deem that particular photo amazing and worry that someone will copy/steal it. But the sad truth is, that people aren’t always looking for a technically great photo to steal… they are looking for a photo of a little kid showing some skin.  Well, in case you haven’t noticed, my kids prefer their undies to any other clothing.  I could decide to not share those images, but let’s be honest… you’d never see photos of my kids, OR I’d have some serious battles getting them clothed each day.

So, if skin is showing, its getting watermarked. 

Because unless you’re given permission to take a photo from a blog/site, it is illegal.  You’ll notice that if you right-click an image on my site, it reminds of this copyright. 

And it is ALWAYS illegal to post those pictures as your own or to alter them in anyway.  Believe it or not, some people do this, and it sicks me out.  Just, FYI. 

6.  I can’t leave it on that note… so, here’s my sweet-boy Tado. 

  Have a delightful weekend! 

OUR Christmas Tree

We live in the land of the Christmas Tree.  Oregon’s Willamette Valley is one of the world’s leading producers of them and the particular ‘hill’ that we live on crawls with Christmas Tree fields.  So when I considered by-passing having a tree in our house this year, to avoid incidents with Kaden, I knew it would be unrealistic.  And a bit silly.  And have since realized, unnecessary! 

This past weekend we visited our good friends’ tree field and after a half an hour of me “hmming and hawing” and countless “ooh, look at this one!” we picked one.  Gage and Cooper ran around playing ‘Hunt the T-Rex’ with our friends’ grandsons, totally bi-passing the family-unity part of this holiday tradition.  But they had a blast, so oh well.  Matt began to cut it down with his hand saw and I said, “Wait, I have to get a picture!”  He replies from under the tree, “Don’t worry, this will take a while.”  I try to adjust my settings and then wack, I hear it hit the ground not even 15 seconds later!  I guess he underestimated himself.

Then the 4 little boys took it upon themselves to haul it out of the patch and up to our car.  That was my favorite part.      

It was surprisingly dry when we got it home so we quickly rearranged some furniture, brought it in, and started vacuuming.  That is a must. 

The decorating had to wait until the next day, when we were able to get more strands of lights…

Cooper appointed himself the official “back of the tree decorator” and did a mighty fine job of covering a 1 foot square area with about 20 ornaments. 

Speaking of ornaments… this one is Kaden’s…

This one is mine (from 1981)…

And this one is just pretty…

And drinking Peppermint Hot Chocolate (from Costco… SERIOUSLY. SO. GOOD!) by the tree has become a daily activity. 

Have you ever done something year after year and then one year finally realize there is a BETTER way to do it, and you bonk yourself on the head and say “Why didn’t we think of this 5 years ago??”  That’s what we’re thinking in regard to where we put our tree this year.  Previously, we crammed it into our living room, allowing it to take up 1/3 of the walking/playing space.  This year, we moved out our small table and put the tree inside the breakfast nook’s bay window. 

It is so much happier there.  And now we’re eating in our dining room and surprise, surprise, the boys are SO much more behaved during meal time! 

All is well in Christmas Tree Land.  Kaden hasn’t climbed it yet, Cooper hasn’t climbed it yet (although he keeps cuddling up on the window sill and hiding behind it) and Gage is actually reminding me to water it. 

So, it looks like this tree may actually last until Christmas!  

Molalla’s Christmas Tree Lighting CELEBRATION!

Hello… I’m posting these photos to prove that we actually got out and about in the world… well, in Molalla anyway.  For the annual Christmas tree lighting.  We feel pretty excited to say that we’ve attended ever since Gage was a baby – so, for the past 5 years.  We may be the only ones in Molalla who can say that, except for Father Ed, who always prays before the “festivities” begin.  By “festivities” I mean seeing Santa and seeing the tree lit.  Exciting. 

Gage thought and thought about what he was going to tell Santa’s helper what he wants for Christmas, but when the time came, he was a bit shell-shocked.  Cooper burst out “I want a fishing pole!”  “Yeah, me too!” said Gage.  Kaden just sat there thinking, “I cannot move my head in this ridiculously tight hood.”  

Probably G&C’s highlight was sitting in the fire truck…

And then for the main event… the tree lighting.  We counted down … and nothing happened.  So, we all tried again and half of the tree lit up.  Then, the rest followed. 

  And because my mom was with us, the entire evening was a hit with these boys. 

MY favorite part was tracking down the parade of Emergency Vehicles with all their lights on.  We parked on the side of the road and watched the stream drive past us.  Can you imagine how exciting that was for little boys?  They hung out the windows waving and listening to the honks and sirens.  It was a beautiful thing watching the boys’ faces.  Even Kaden was mesmerized (while hiding in the back of the car, in the comfort of Grammie’s arms). 

If anyone from Molalla is reading this, you should come out to this event next year.  We could make it fun!  :) 

Really!