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I am a God-loving, husband-adoring, mybabyboys-hugging, mind-reeling, photo-taking, life-documenting, yummyfood-cooking, garden-planting, country-living girl. Writing about life, with boys, in the sticks...
this is life... with boys... in the country...

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Learning from Another’s Suffering…

Last night, I read possibly the most heart-wrenching true story that I have ever come across.  It left me crying so hard my whole body shook and I could barely see the words through my drenched eyes.  I still feel like I’m breathing with bricks on my chest.  After reading the story I went to my boys rooms and cried over them and prayed and couldn’t take my eyes off of them.  And now, this morning, I am watching the clock, anxiously and excitedly waiting for them to wake up.  So I can hear their precious voices and hear their breathing.  So they can tell me about their dreams from while they slept and about their desires for our day.  Those things I take for granted every. single. day. 

Those things are routine, normal, and ever-present… until, they’re not.  Until something tragic happens and a void is left so deep that only the grace of God can fill it with time. 

The Bible tells us not to suffer in vain.  To not let our suffering consume us and be wasted, but to go through it like Jesus did.  Depending on God for strength and to come out on the other side closer to Him and sharing your experience with others. 

The mom from the story I referenced was courageous to share her experience and I WILL NOT let her suffering go to waste.  That sounds strange, right?  But how foolish would I be to read her words, cry like I did and then NOT learn from it.  To not snap out of this coma of our routine day and realize that my boys NEED more attention from me.  That I NEED to hug them more and teach them more directly of the hazards in our home.  I need to go to the stairs when I know Kaden’s climbing them for the 50th time that day… not thinking about the multitude of times he’s done it successfully but rather of the one time, he DID fall and only by God’s hand was he okay afterward.  

I have gotten into such a comfortable place with my days with the boys that I think I’m getting complacent.  I don’t jump to my feet when I hear crying anymore because I hear it everyday and I know… its just another argument or stubbed toe.  blah blah. But I need to SNAP TO IT and recognize that my lack of presence (physically or mentally) could result in tragedy in the blink of an eye. 

I know what you’re thinking.  I can’t prevent ALL accidents.  I know.  Like the mom from the story said, “You can’t bubble wrap the world, but at this moment, I’d sure like to try.”  And when my children are in MY home, under MY supervision I had BETTER be recognizing the blessing of that gift and responsibility and do everything in my power to protect them. 

So, I’m blogging now as they are sleeping and when they wake, they won’t see my back as I sit at the computer and edit photos or work on my new blog.  I will be present and attentive and alert to my children.  I’m embarrassed that I have to make that vow, as if it is a new, novel idea! But again comfort and routine have sent me into a downward spiral to complacency and I have a feeling that had I turned away and not read that story last night, it would be only a matter of time  until I had a heart-wrenching story of my own to share.  The Lord put that link in front of me for a reason and I can’t ignore it. 

Accidents can and will happen but some can also be prevented by me simply stepping up and doing the job the Lord gifted me: being an attentive, focused-on-my-little-children-mom. 

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In an effort to make myself stop crying now, I’ll share these photos that really cracked me up at the time I took them… Awhile back I posted about my boys’ love of making ‘nests’.  Comfy, cozy little places where they surround themselves with all of their favorite soft things.  I’ve also shared how they like to be in the laundry baskets, tucked in snuggly with blankets.

Now, enter our little storage boxes from Ikea.  Even tighter quarters, but evidently, that makes them even better!  Gage tucked Kaden into his, but Cooper zipped himself in all on his own.  Goofy.  But it gave us a quiet, calm 20 minutes! 

And I love that Kaden is cuddling the little panda bear he received from the P.A.N.D.A Team who transported him, almost a year ago, to Doernbecher Children’s Hospital after he was born prematurely.            

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Okay.  Off to get a few more things done before a more attentive Mama is called to duty for the day. 

And, hug your loved ones, today… big and small… in honor of Tiggy.   

2 comments:

Stephanie said...

I read a heartbreaking one yesterday too - I linked through from the maternal lens. I can't imagine the sorrow, and like you, it made me grateful and appreciative of my healthy children. Hug those babies, sweetie. They're gorgeous and they grow so fast!

Mom said...

Oh, sweetie, I'm without words...just tears.

XO to you.

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