Look What I Did!

I’d been thinking about this for some time now (probably over a year) and finally got up the guts to do it.  I think the final straw was the other day when Kaden’s fingers got entangled in my hair and nearly brought me to tears he (accidentally of course) yanked so hard.  I said “This is why I want to cut my hair off!”  Gage quickly responded, “Mama, you can just put your hair back in one of those round things, then Kaden wouldn’t pull it!  I love it long! And I love you!”

I asked him if he’d still love me if I had short hair.  He thought about it a second and said, “I’ll always love you, Mama.  But I probably won’t like your hair.”  Gee, I wonder if he gets that from when I tell him that I’ll always love him, but I won’t always like what he does…  I quickly thought of something to say, before he talked me out of cutting it… “Well, Gage.  Grammie has short hair and maybe Mama with short hair would make you think I look more like her and then you love me even more!”  Before he could respond, Cooper pipes in, “I miss Grammie…” thanks for changing the subject…

Anyway, Gage was the main thing holding me back from taking the plunged… he’s always LOVED my hair being long and wholeheartedly objected whenever I’d bring up cutting it short.  That, coupled with my nerves and flailing self-esteem, I just wasn’t sure.

On the flip side, Matt has always encouraged me to cut it and I finally accepted that I should put his preference before my child’s, when it comes to my appearance.  So that, plus the nagging attraction Kaden’s fingers had to my long hair, and the fact that it had gotten so damaged over the past 4 months (!) of not getting it trimmed, I decided it was time! 

(This wasn’t even half of the hair that was on the floor in the end… even the pedicure lady expressed her shock at how much was cut off)

I look relieved, don’t I?  One thing was certain, my head felt lighter.  (Or maybe that was just because I’d spent 3 hours without my kids actually engrossed in adult conversation…)

I’m still contemplating having my stylist (Sheryl) cut in some side-sweeped bangs…

I do like my hair cut… I didn’t cry when I left the salon, which was kind of what I was expecting to do.  I’m not sure that I think it makes me feel pretty (seriously NOT fishing for complements here) but it does feel healthy and fun and easy.

And mostly, I was SO glad that Gage didn’t run the other way screaming when he saw me. And I’m done looking in the mirror every time I pass one … not out of vanity, but for affirmation that it IS okay that my hair is all gone.  

And Matt’s smile when he saw me, really helped, too.  :)